Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 9

Everyday, for the past 3 weeks, M7amad has been calling me. Sometimes, more than often, he'd just call to 'check and see how I was doing'. Everyday, things got better between us, and so, I decided that today I was going to tell him how I truly felt about him...


Should I really do that? I mean, won't it be too soon? Jeez, I've only known the guy for a month! No WAY is he going to believe that I'm in love with him!
But, I mean, it would be wrong to supress all these feelings inside of me. And, so, I decided to 'meet up with him' for the first time. I wanted to tell him, face-to-face, how I feel about him.
Unfortunately, I'm not one to take rejection well, but what the hell, we'll see how it goes.

I took out my phone from my purse, which was placed in perfect symmetry on the chair, and started dialling his number.
For the first time ever, it was me who was calling him.

The phone rang and rang and rang, but it did NOT sound like he was in Kuwait. You know, the different ring of a different country? And, just as I was about to end the call, he picked up.
"..Raghad?" He sounded asleep. Oh God, was this a bad time?
"M7amad.. nayim?" I tried keeping my voice as low as possible, I didn't want to wake him up.
"La la... ga3id" His voice was trembling.
"...Are you alright? Oo Wainik?!"
"Raghad... akalmich ba3dain?"
"Ikhith ra7tik.. Kalimni mita ma fi'6ait. Bye"

It was 10:30 AM, on a Friday morning. He was NOT in Kuwait, I could tell you that much. 7ayati, he sounded very tired! Exhausted even.

Around 45 minutes later, he called me.

"Aloo" I said... Waiting for him to explain what was going on.
"Hala ubooy intay. Shlonich?"
"M7amad, wainik?"
"Ana? Mawjood..."
"La qa9di, inta imsafir..."
"Ee wallah 9ar li taqreeban isboo3 imsafir, bas sim3eeni gabil la itgooleen ayshay. Ana imsafir ma3a ahali. I7na imsafreen 3ilaj moo fis7a, oo ma ba'3ait agool lich, ma abeech itsheeleen ham."
"3ilaj? Wain?! Oo M7amad yalaitik giltli! 3alashan a3arif bas!" I felt the tears accumulating in my eyes. He started keeping secrets from me already!? Isn't that what marriage was for!?

"Raghad, 7abeebti, ana lazim aroo7 al7een. Akalmich ilaila."
FIRST OF ALL, he called me 7abeebti. I felt, like, I was going to pass out.
It sounded like he was in a hospital.
"Call me. Tonight"
That was the best I could come up with!!!

What in heaven's name was going on! I've never been so confused in my life. And, I'm sure you all feel the same way! I mean, if /I/ don't understand what's happening, how could /you/ ?!

Don't fret. All is to be explained, later that night, when he finally called me.

*Taraaaaak int il wa7eed.....* You get the point, my phone was ringing.

"Allooooo! M7amad talk to me! Tara you're confusing me! What's going on?!"
"Raghad, ana yay 3ilaj ma3a ahali."
"Mino ili ga3d yit3alaj!? Explain! And, is it serious?!"
"Ee walla, it's serious. And, it's me."
"It's you what?!" -I refused to believe it was HE who was sick.
"Sim3eeni.. khal akamil. A few weeks back I ran blood tests, 7ilo? I got a call a few days later, telling me ina feeni a disease called Multiple sclerosis, also known as M.S. it3arfeena?"
"Shfeech sikatay? Hahaha ana ma feeni ila il 3afia! Ana yay ihni 3alashan inti2akad bas! Lail7een mo akeed! Hahahah."
It wasn't the time to laugh. But, he kept laughing. I admired his courage. And, I loved his laugh.
"Raghad! Cheer up ya 7ilwa, barid likwait ba3ad 3 days, Inshallah, as soon as they rule out M.S! Hahaha, Ma feeeeeeeniiii illlaaaaa il 3afiaaa ya bint il naaaas!"
"A7ibiich.." Then he started kissing the air hysterically. I could hear smooching sounds. Lol.
"Haha, M7amad lat'6a7ikni! This is serious! And, where in heaven's name are you!"
"Imbala, ba'6a7kich, this IS funny! Hahaha ana ib Almania 7ayati"
7ayati! He called me 7ayati. This was the best/worst day of our relationship.
"Ana a7ibik akthar." THERE, I said it.
"Ya ba3adhum intay. 6alabtich?!"
"Ma yamir 3alaich 3ado, momkin mat7ateen? Ya3ni, momkin momkin? Tara ma feeni shay. Innocent until proven guilty! Hahaha"
Lol! How could I NOT love this guy.

Once the call had ended, I took out my laptop, and I started looking up Multiple sclerosis.

Ya rabi it7afthah.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 8

*Tarak int il wa7eed ili begali.. Oo Hami oo laitini hamik* -My phone was ringing.

M7amad Calling!!

"M7amad!" I sounded all excited and squeeky-voiced, unfortunately.
"Haha Hala bil 7ilween ili labseen uniform ta7ta a7mar oo raf3een sha3ar'hum ib qalam! Ib thimitich, shimwadeech il baqala?" He teased.
OMG. He was describing me..!
"La7tha! Shdarak ana labsa a7mar ta7at my uniform??"
"Ishrayich tiltaftain ya3ni? Hahaha."
I froze, speechless and breathless. Was he seriously standing behind me?! I turned around; a quick swift motion that made the pencil in my hair fall out.
"Ma ashoofik! Wainik?"
"Hahahahahahahaha ma a9adig. Wala oo 9adagtay ini warach?"
"Maytha7ek! Haha, 9ij shdarak 3ayal?"
"Haha, a6africh ya bint il nas wagif warach ana."
"Ee 9a7. 6aya7t ilqalam min sha3ri, istanast?"
"Wala waraach! Iltaftay!"
I felt a pat on my shoulder. I froze, again.
"Shrayich bil surprise? Hahahaha"
"Ee wala it9adgeen?.. 3ad iygooloon mazyoon hal walad yakhi widi ashoofa 3ala youm..Hahaha"
"W..wh...what are you doing here?"
"Galabna English al7een? Hahaha.. I, my fair lady, am here to pick up my baby brother."
"La 9ij wala, la7igni? Duuude, are you stalking me?" I teased. I just had to, it was too tempting not to!
"Wala shfeech mo im9adgatni! Ay stalker Allah iykhaleech.. I'd make a terrible stalker. Al7igich digeega wa'6ay3ich ib thanya! Hahaha. Shakhbarich?"
"Il7imdila! 3ash min shafik. Oo hal mara bidoon ildam. Ana asfa tara. Wala ma kint qa9da."
"Ya bint il nas adri moo qa9da. Khala9 insay. Ma 9ar shay. Haha."
He was always laughing. He was always smiling. The whole time he stood there I wanted to.. just.. TOUCH him. I felt my hand rising, but I made my other hand hold it in.
A small kid, around the age of 7 or 8 ran by.

"3baid! Ta3al ta3al ta3al. Yala ilbait yala yala" As he carried this child and swung him over his shoulder. The child, as good looking as his older brother, was also smiling and laughing.
I admired this connection between the brothers. I just wish I had that connection with Reemo.

My mother had always told me that the only people to trust, and I mean really really trust are your family members. Because, they won't ever want to diminish your reputation. Nor would they want anything but your well-being. Afterall, ruining a sibling's reputation was as bad as ruining your own. People would just think: Oh, so she's talking about her sister; she's just as bad for doing so.

I envied that little boy. M7amad carried him. He hugged him and kissed him. For heaven's sake he TICKLED him! I wanted that. I wanted M7amad, and I still do.

I just stood there as I saw M7amad put his little brother in the car, and then he approached me again.

"Ana.. Lazim asta'thinich. 3baid... Lazim.. Awadeeh il bait." He stuttered as he said this. I could see that his eyes were sinking deep into my own.
"Ithnik ma3ak, 3azeez oo '3ali."
"Na3am?" I said shyly.
"Akalmich awal ma arja3 il bait...?"
"Na6ritik" I said with a half smile of shyness.
"Allah iy7af'6ich. Ma3a ilsalama."
"Allah ma3ak"

As soon as I got home, I couldn't eat. Heck, I couldn't even think of food! I ran up to my room, jumped into bed, and started to giggle. It was as though I was a toddler that had just been given a toy. [I know, this might sound immature, but it's the truth, and that's all that matters, right?]

*Tarak int il wa7eed ili begali.. Oo Hami oo laitini hamik* Phone call!
I jumped to grab the phone! And out of excitement, I suppose I didn't even notice who the caller was!

"Aloo!" I said, enthusiastically.
"7aqeera. Ya bint il.." 3alia was talking!
I closed the phone before she was finished! I wanted nothing to do with her. I'd given up on her, just like M7amad asked me to. And, I'm a good girl, just like M7amad said I was! I wasn't going to let him down... Not this time.

*Tarak int il wa7eed ili begali.. Oo Hami oo laitini hamik* Phone...
I made sure to check who was calling before I answered.

"Aloo.." I said, blankly.
"Hala.." I could feel a laugh coming on.
... I said nothing...
"Raghad, feech shay?"
"La salamtik"
"Ma feeni shay M7amad" - I just had to say nothing, so he doesn't think I'm easy, and that I'd spill out my guts out to him. I'm a girl, it's just how we think.
"..3alashani goleeli? Itha li 3indich shan... Ana sawait shay?"
"La M7amad! Ma7shoom! It's just... 3alia."
"Shtabi hathi.. ishsawat hal mara?"
"Well, ana gilt 7ag ukhooha 3an kil suwalif'ha.. Oo 7adha im3a9ba 3alay.. She keeps calling me. I'm honestly, afraid.."
"Afraid? Min shino? Min hal nizra hathi? Ma 3alaich minha! Ishbitsawi ya3ni? Damich mo imsawya shay '3ala6 latkhafeen. Oo ba3dain.. Zain itsaween feeha! Tistahil! Gayilich ma waraha ila il mashakil. Wili iy3afeech.. La itmasheen hal ashkal."
"Inshallah. A9lan min youm ma giltli Oo ana ma akalimha..."
"3afia 3al sha6ra."
I smiled. We were having our first 'problematic conversation' ! And, I felt like I could trust him.. With everything.

But, my slate, by far, is clean. As clean as it'll ever be. I'm a good girl, I really am.. On occassion I'd rebel against my father by disobeying him.. But I'm not to blame, am I?

"...Hala M7amad"
"Widi agolich shay..."
Oh my God. Was he going to say he loved me? Please say it! Please! -I was silent-
"Tifa'6al M7amad"
"Bas bagool lich.. ini.. arta7lich."

Arta7lich? That's the best he could do? But ah well, it was something! And, I should be flattered!

He continued...
"Mani gayilich ini a7ibich.. Li'ani a7tirmich. Oo ba3dain in gilt a7ibich akoon chathab il9ara7a.. Li'ana magdar a7ibich oo ana lail7een ma a3arfich 3adil... Oo...." I cut him off right there.
"M7amad.. Latkamil. Bil3ax.. Ana mani 6alba minik kilmat a7ibich. A9lan law inik gayilha.. Chan 6i7t min 3aini.. Oo al7een, ana arta7lik oo a7tirmik akthar."

Fuck. Who was I kidding? I needed to hear him say he loved me! But.. But.. I just didn't want to rush things. The way things were going was more than perfect.

"9ij inich bint nas.. Mashallah 3alaich. Oo ba3dain.. Widi agool shay thani.."
"Shaklich wayid 7ilo ilyoum. Red is so your color! Hahahahahahaha"
Lol, isn't he just a sweet heart?
"Hehe, i3yoonik il 7ilwa, ma ga9art.. Oo inta.. La bas.. Hahah..." -I was lying. He was drop-dead-gorgeous.

"Affa. Ana la bas? Mashi mashi.. Hahaha.. 3al 3imoom.. Akhaleech al7een. Waray dawam" He muttered.
"Hehe.. Have fun?"
"Ee.. 7ada. Woohoo!" Sarcasm filled the phone so much that I couldn't help but laugh.
"Yala bye" He said.
"Bye" And just as he closed the phone, I kissed mine. The biggest kiss a phone deserved. Pathetic eh? Haha.
Or atleast.. I thought he closed the phone!
"Hahahahahahahaha... Whhhhaaaat was thaaat!? Hal bosa 7agi wila 7ag il mobile? Hahahahahaha" -M7amad.
"Emm.. Hehe.. El mobile!!" I blushed as I said this..
"Ee zain zain. Lucky mobile.. Hahaha Bye now, click.." -M7amad

Lol! M7amad made a click sound! Lol! Hahaha :P

"M7amad, I know you're still there." I laughed..
"Hahahaha 7asaafa! Kint mitmani asma3 bosa thani. Ah well, I tried. Hahaha"
"Ma3a il salama!"
Then, I made sure I ended the call!..

Mwaaaah ;************* -I kissed my phone again.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 7

First of all, where do I begin.
I started my day like any other day. I woke up, ran water across my body as I shampood my hair. I brushed my teeth and hair. And then..
"Raghad 7abeebti.. Ta3alay bakalmich" Jassim said.
His voice was soft, and caring.
"Hala Jassim, 9aba7 il khair! Shimga3dik! Il sa3a 6:45!"
"7abeebti.. goleeli il 9ij.. wainha il sayara ya sha6ra?"
"Ilmafrooth to9al! Aw iw9alat! Aw.. Madri!"
"Shlon ma tadreen ya ba3ad 3umri intay.. Latchathbeen 3alay. 3alyo il nizra galatli. Bas tadreen.. Ana mo m3a9ib 3ala il 7adith. Wela inich saygat'ha wintay ma 3indich laisan. Ana za3lan laish inich ma gilteeli."
"Jassim.. Ana asfa. Bas tara wala kanat 9adma! Oo tifaja't! Oo Ma 3araft agool lik! Jassim.. You're my brother. A7ibik oo amout feek. Inta tiswa ildinya 3indi, bas ma kint qa9da. Ana asfa."
I started to cry. I thought he'd be furious at me, but instead he came over, hugged me, kissed my forehead, and told me to get ready for school.
I hadn't slept much that night..
3alia was a bitch!

*Tarak inta ilwa7eed ili begaali.. Oo hami oo laitini hamik* -My cell was ringing.
M7amad calling...
"Aloo? M7amad?"
"Hala Raghad shlonich."
"Ebkhair allah iysalmik. Inta shakhbarik?"
"Il7imdila ibkhair damich ibkhair. Momkin so'al?"
"Dam fa'6lich.. Raghad.. 9ij il kalam ili 3alia galatli wila la2?"
...Here we go again.
"M7amad ana gilt lik.. Ana bas in3ijabt feek. '3aira killlllla mo 9ij!"
"9adagtich khala9.. Lat7ateen"
"Momkin ana as'al so'al?"
"M7amad, shimga3dik?" I teased.
"Waray dawam.. Jam3a. We3. Haha"
The most perfect laugh I'd ever heard.
"Allah iywafgik! Inta ib ay jam3a tadris?"
"GUST, bas chini ba7awil bara likwait. Ma yindara.. 7a'6ritich ib ay jam3a ya 7ilwa? Haha"
"Ana senior, 6al 3umrik. Bas inshallah GUST ilsina il yaya!"
"Haaa? Wala 9ij? Khala9 3ayal banthibir ib GUST, ishrayich? Hahaha!!"
He was laughing. He was merry. He was happy! And, so was I! An actual conversation between the two of us! Ahhh!!!!
"Hatha shay iyraji3lik, bas atmana itsafir ya3ni atmana" I said sarcastically.
"Affa! Laish!?"
"Ati'3ashmar ma3ak. Hehe.."
There was an awkward silence for 5-10 seconds. We all go through these awkward silences at some point.
"Yala Raghad! Madrissa!! Hahahahahahahaha" He teased.
"Adri adri. Mashkoor 3al reminder, 3ala fikra."
"Affa 3alaich, yala akhaleech al7een. Have fun at school. Oo ma awa9eech! Shi6ana Shi6ana Shi6ana! La la 9eeray sha6oora 3alashan itikharijain. Ma buga shay, kilaha shahar oo itkhal9een." He sounded like Jassim right then. I love him!
"Yeah.. Aha.. You have fun too. And pay attention to your professors. Oo Allah ma3ak!"
"Hahaha, inshallah, latwa9een 7aree9. Yala, ma3a ilsalama."

Was this.. the start of our NEW Raghad/M7amad relationship? I sure as hell hope so!
I went to school. I sat silently in the back row of the class.
Teacher: "Raghad..."
This was supposed to be attendance time. I was just too drowned in my sketches of M7amad to notice. And so,
Teacher: "Raghad, are you absent?"
Teacher: "Raghad, I can see you at the back row! Wake up!"
I heard steps down the narrow hall that was engulfed by desks and chairs.
Teacher (Into my ear): "RAGHAD!"
Me: "WHAT!"
Teacher: "Pardon me? Are you present?"
Me: "Yes Ma'am"
Teacher: "Very well then. I hope you pay more attention next time." She walked away. Muttering.

In my notebook. I had written this:

Mrs. M7amad. -I didn't know what his last name was!-
And so... The love story begins?

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 6

"Shoofay Raghad, ana lama yatni 3alia.. Ishta'3rabt gilt shisalfa bint yayatni 3imyani bitkalimni oo ana ib 7ayati moo shayifha. Ilmishkila inha kanat na6ratni 3ind isayara, gilt akeed sad 3alaiha wela shay.. Bas ilmoshkila Ma kint sad 3ala a7ad.. Gilt akeed shay iykhi9 isayara, ishdarani ana shisalfa. Ilmohim, il7abeeba yayatni itibosam oo salimat 3alay : 7amood! ....
A3arfich!? It3arfeeni? Shino 7amood?! A9'3ar i3yalha ana? Ilmohim 7agart, gilt yimkin wa7da a3arifha? Bas kilish kilish mo imshabih 3alaiha, Raghad. Ya3ni madri shino hal qilat adab il zayda ili feeha. Yatni chan itmid edha, gilt amid edi, 3aib a3alig'ha, chan tis7abni witboosni!
Mo bas qilat adab hathi... Ilmohim 7agart, sa'alt'ha : Min 7a'6ritich?
Tadreen ishgalatli ya Raghad? Galatli: I'm your girlfriend's best friend!
GIRLFRIEND? Oo ana min mita 3indi girlfriend, wela chan ana 3indi Oo ana ma adri, hatha shay thani...
Giltlaha: It3arfeeni? A3arfich??
Galatli: La2 bas ana rifeeeejat Raghad! Rifeejat'ha ilroo7 bil roo7! Oo wayid kalimatni 3anik oo kila itgool li ina you have beautiful lips, kissable lips! Al7een 9adagt'ha!

Ana 9ar feeni- Shino!?
La oo azeedich il shi3ir bait.. galatli ina intay gaylatlaha inich itkalmeeni oo ina ana 9a7bich? oo ina thak il yom bil tha7ya.. kina imwa3deen.
Shofay Raghad, damich ma 3arafteeni.. Ana wa7id ma 3indi hal suwalif.. oo mo nagi9 il9ara7a. Ana rayal ma 3indi kharabee6, oo bas 7abait agool lich ina ma widi inich idigeen 3alay in kan kalam 9a7bitich 9a7. Sam3atni? Tara mo min 3awaydi atinarfaz.. Bas 9ij 9ij jilat 7aya."

That was what 3ALIA my best friend said to him. 3ALIA. How could she?!

"M7amad 3indik digeega agool lik qi9iti?"
"Dam fathlik.. M7amad ana ma gilt 7ag 3alia ayshay ila ina you're hot."
He ignored my last statement. He simply ignored me.

"Shoofay Raghad. Ana ashoof inich bint nas oo mitrabya, atmana matmasheen hal ashkal. Li'ana hal ashkal bitnazlich ib mistawa il ga3."
"Al7een 3an ithnich.. Baroo7 anam. Ma3a ilsalama."

OhMyGod. Our first argument! Yay! (At this point, I was very hung up on M7amad, acting like he was my boyfriend and everything!)
3alia, was to be taught a valuble lesson. I knew of a way to make her suffer for what she's done to me. It was time this friendship ended. For countless years I was the one who had covered up for her, and comforted her during all her breakups. I knew about her relationships with random guys, sometimes more than one at a time, and throughout the years, 3alia has never been there for me. Not once.

I dialled 3omar's number. (3omar = 3alia's brother)
"3omar? 3omar ana Raghad"
"Yaaa hala bil zain! Shlonich Raghad? Min ziman 3anich!"
"Ee 3omar adri, wala adri. Isma3, abeek itshoof telephone 3alia. Il security code 9117, ifta7 il keybad lock, oo shoof her messages."
"Laish? Shimsawya hal mara?"
"Inta 6ee3ni, oo tiwakal."
"Khala9, mashkoora. Ma ga9artay."
"Il3afo, yala bye."

Now, I was getting even with that whore.

Around 3:30 AM my phone rang.
Calling: 3alia.
I ignored.
This went on until about 3:59 AM, with countless missed calls.
At 7:22 AM, in the midst of my sleep, I heard the door knob turn violently. Ofcourse, as always, my door was locked. Pounding and pounding, screaming and shouting. I could hear 3alia's voice. If I open the door, she sure as hell would kill me, and so, I ignored.
Just when I thought that she went away, I heard HARDER banging on the door, and this time it was Jassim. Apparently, 3alia went and told Jassim that something had happened to me, and that I may have been hurt or something. Ofcourse, I couldn't ignore Jassim, so I yelled:
"A9ARIFHA YA3NI?" -Jassim.
"MIN 3YOONIIII!!" -Jassim.
I heard a faint: "3alyo thilfay baitkum ikhti malha khilgich"
Hehe. I love my brother, and yes, it was time for payback.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 5

"Dude! Wainich?" 3alia proclaimed.
"Err.. umm.. bil bait? Wain bakoon ya3ni, tista3bi6ain 9a7? Giltlich Jassim raad min il sifar ilyoum! Tara..." She cut me off.
"Ma gilt lich 3a6eeni qi9at 7ayatich! Ana bas sa'altich wainich! God effing dammmmnit!" 3alia shouted.

"3aliaa... fee shay tabeen itgooleena? Tara lazim arkab ilsayara.."
"Ee Raghad! 9iij... shift sayarta!!!!!!!!" She said anxiously.
"Chathaba! Wain! Shdarach ina sayarta!!"
"Mad3ooma min il janb, 9a7? Oo M'3ayima, totally."
"Eee!!!!" -GASP- It was his car! Love!
"Ee, ana bil 9al7iya al7een. Sayarta ihni! Ta3alay!"
"Inzain wi9feeli shakla! Itha shifta agool lich!"
Hmm.. Telling 3alia about M7amad, and what he looked like.. Good idea?
3alia's prettier than I am, she's taller and has curves in all the right places. Her hair, long and black, was the thing that all her ex's loved. Her lips were full, fuller than mine. Her eyes, 2 large almonds were dark, and mysterious, and she always complimented them with the perfect amout of makeup. On the other hand, there was me..

I'm your typical girl next door type of girl. If you look at me once, you won't want to look at me again. My body was petite. I had mid-length/short hair. My eyes were small, but full of expression, all the time. If I could compare myself to one celebrity... it would be... Mila Kunis. NOT.

"3alia... Nisait shakla."
"SHINO!? Bismillah Tawich shayfita ilyoum il 9ub7!"
"Adri 3alooy, bas shasawi! Wala nisait!"
"Inzain inzain, ana ban6ir ashoof mino yidkhal il sayara."
"3ala ra7tich....."
I didn't want her to do that. I didn't want her to see him. But, most importantly, I didn't want him to see her. Yes, I was being selfish. It was a crush, but who knows, with the proper amount of energy, I could have him. For my own. All for me.

I closed the phone.
I got into the car.
Reem sat next to me. Eww.

"Raghad. Raghad. Raghad. Raghad."
"Shtabeeeeeen!!" I shout/whispered. Afterall, we were in the car with father dearest.
"Sar7ana ib shino? Solfay ma3ay. Khala9 il sha7an mal il ipod, malait. Solfay."
"Mali khelgich."
"Intay min mita lich khilgy. Iff."
"3aib itgooleen iff, 3ala fikra."
All I got from her was the most annoying/sarcastic smile, and I completely ignored it, entirely.

We got to the final destination, finally, and all stepped out of the car and made our way to dine. At the table, no one spoke. I saw Jassim take out his phone, and then speak to Joseph. The expression on his face melted, and I though 'Oh God, I'm going to die today'. He then looked at me, and then at father. BUT, then he looked at Reem, which puzzled me.
"Yuba, ilsayara imwadeenha service, mumkin akhith sayartik bachir?"
"Ee yuba, ikhith'ha."
Pshew! I wiped the tiny droplets of sweat that had overtaken my forehead, and continued to eat. I should recieve a medal for world's greatest lie! And Joseph is now my best friend. (Yes, Joseph, the driver).

We all drove back home, no one said a word, because we were all full. Actually, not full, but stuffed right out of our minds! We ate so much, it's a miracle we fit through the door! Haha.

I ran to my room just as we entered the house, and made my way to the bathroom. I took out all the makeup I had on, and changed into my pyjamas. I went into the bed, and covered myself with the soft cotton bedsheets, and just as I did so, my phone rang.

I was silent. It was M7amad. Aaaah.
"Raghad, yatni wa7da isimha 3alia tawha, itgool intay gilteelha shay? Lazim akalmich ib mawthoo3..."

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 4

“Min Tkalmeeen?!?!?!” father screamed.“Emm.. Akalim il Salon yuba! Abi aroo7 asawi sha3ri 7ag il 3asha, itha mako mani3?”“…Entay matyoozeen min hal 9ya3a?! Raghad.. Il nas ishbitgool 3ani.. Ini mo 3arif arabi binti!? Kilyoum a7ad dag 3alay iygool li Wala shifna bintik ihni oo ihnaak! Basich 6al3a yala! Tinthabrain bil bait tiyeech il 7alaqa witsaweelich sha3rich. Mafhoom?”“Inshallah yuba. 3al amrik……”What the hell!? Now going to the hairdresser is forbidden!? What next?! Is he going to tell me I can’t go to school anymore?!I admit, I’ve been going out day in and day out, and before mother passed away, she approved not of me going out whenever my heart pleased. I suppose I’m just rebelling against my father because…After all, he’s the meanest most selfish person I know! [Atleast, That’s what I used to think, at that fragile and subtly insane age.. I was a teenager! Stop blaming me for being a total and utter bitch!]
I stared at my phone. I wanted to hear M7amad’s voice again, and this time, really listen. I want to listen to his breathing, and perhaps even his pulse. I want to listen to his background, and if the room he was in produced an echo. In simpler words, I wanted M7amad. I didn’t know the man! Heck, I only just saw him for a mere 10 minutes total, if not less! Why was this happening to me? It was like candy to a child, but being given from a total stranger. You know not to take it, but I just wanted to GRAB it! And make endless love to it. [No you perverts, I don’t mean physically.. I was merely umm.. Stating.. Ugh I’ll just shut up].
I picked up the phone. I called 3alia. I explained. And she LAUGHED. Believe that? She laughed at me!? Who in God’s name does she think she is to LAUGH at ME!? I knew 3alia, and her endless stories with guys.. But she was my friend. We’ve been the closest friend since the 2nd grade! Birds of a feather flock together.. Yes, that’s what it is.. I was turning into 3alia. Shit. Now I’m a slut. I hung up on my pathetic best friend, and made my way to the bathroom. Aah, a much needed bathroom break. I’ve been waiting for this all day. Please, don’t fantasize about it, ‘cause that’s just gross. Anyways…
‘Taraak Int il wa7eed ilii begaaali… Wehami Oo Laitini Hamiik…’ –My phone was ringing.
OhMyGod. Called ID- M7amad’s number.What should I do!?Yep, I picked up.
-I remained dead silent-“Raghad… Asif 3al iz3aj wallah bas baghait agool lich ina il sayara itkhali9 bachir ilsa3a tisi3 bilail, maykhalif itdizeenli 3inwan baitkum?”“Laaaaaaa2.” I said in total shock.“Shfeech? 3ayal shlon? Hahahahahah.” He was laughing. I loved his laugh. He had a sexy laugh.“Ana adiz sayigna il garage yakhith’ha, itha maku ishkaliya…”“3ala ra7tich ana bas gilt akhabrich.”He gave me the address to the garage, and I wrote it down as he spoke clearly, and with a laugh in his tone.“Laish tith7ak? Tara il mawqif maytha7ik kilish. Sorry ya3ni bas la tith7ak!” …I had no idea what I was saying, I just wanted to say anything so he doesn’t close the damn phone!“La iytha7ik, asif bas wallah iytha7ik.” He snorted!!! Cute! “Shili iytha7ik?! Ini bamout?! Ina ubooy ibyithba7ni?! Iytha7kik!?” I was p i s s e d.“Ismillah 3alaich ma7ad biymout, Raghad latgoleen chithe. Mako ila il 3afia inshallah, oo bil mustaqbal bitshoofeen ina ilsalfa itmawit min il thi7ik mo bas it’tha7ik. Kaak”What the… He has got to be joking. But deep down inside, I was smiling.“Laish ballah iytha7ik?”“Li2ana… Ra7 itgoleen… il7imdilla ilmawqef 9aar! Li2ana 3arafni 3ala M7amad! Aww” – He snorted again.I think I’m in love. This guy, he’s… hitting on me!? Hahaha, definitely in love!“Inzain… Raghad ana lazim akhaleech al7een… Aku sh’3il bil sharika ma khala9 athabi6 umoori, oo atmana ba3dain itkalmeeni. Ma aq9id shay, tara ana mo mithil baji shabab il deera 7ibeeni oo 7abaitich, ma tamshi 3alay hal suwalif li2ani a7tirmich.. bas a7ib at6aman 3ala 9i7itich… Oo ashoof shlon 9irtay. Allah iy7afthich inshallah. Tamreeni ib shay?”Heartbreak.“Salamtik” I responded, dying inside.“Allah iysalmich, allah ma3aach”
Okay, so let me get this clear, he was NOT flirting with me?! What was he doing then?! And why am I stupid to have my hopes up like this! I’m sure he has a girlfriend, or a fiancĂ©, maybe even a wife! But, he looked too young to have a wife! I mean, he couldn’t be a day older than 20!
I sighed as I called the hairdresser, and ran to my closet to pick out an appropriate outfit for tonight’s dinner at the Terrace Grill. I picked out the perfect outfit! A grey Prada dress with my yellow Dolce and Gabbana belt, and a pair of black Louboutins. To top it off, I would take my Fendi B-bag. Perfection.The hairdresser came, and it just turned 5:00 PM sharp. My brother was to arrive in approximately 2 hours, so I called Joseph the driver again to make sure our plan was still in place. He reassured me that he would only tell my brother that the car was being serviced. I changed after the hairdresser completely straightened out every frizz in my head, and curled it perfectly. I must admit, I looked pretty good.*Knock knock*I opened the door.“7abeeeeeeeeeeeebtiiiii!!!” My brother, Jassim, yelled.“JASSIM!!!!!!!!!” I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders. “Samnaan Jassim shino hatha! Bidaal il homesickness oo not eating, itroo7 itduba ihnaak! Affa! Oo ana agool al7een maskeen Jassim ma yakil oo walhan 3ala ahala” I teased. “Siktay siktay ihnak 3athab. 9ij Walaht 3alaikum.”We all missed him, ever since my mother had passed away, Jassim was the only person who had filled in her role. When father got angry with me, sometimes wishing he could strangle me, Jassim would ask me to go to my room so the 2 men in the house could talk. He always defended me, no matter how wrong I was, because, as he says… “Tara 9a3ab yuba, ilbint ma laha ‘3air umha ib hal dinya… wi7na umna allah yer7amha wiy’3amid roo7ha iljana tiwafat Oo Raghad tawha 9’3eera.. La it3atibha, imsa7ha ib wayhi hal mara”.He used to always say that, and that’s why I loved him.Now, if he ever finds out about his car, he’s going to slaughter me, no questions asked.“Yala, zahbeen? Wain Reemo….iffff” father muttered.Reem- the younger sister. The twit the tattle tale, the loser. She was 14, and had the most ANNOYING voice in the world. Enough about her, this story is ABOUT ME!
We were all ready to leave, and as we made our way to the door, my phone rang again.............

Friday, March 6, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 3

Alright, so 3alia picked me up, and we headed straight for home, no questions asked. Every time she asked me about what was going on, and if anything was wrong, I ignored. I kept thinking about M7amad, and his masculine generosity. It was love at first sight, if that even exists! As soon as we got into the driveway, I told 3alia I’d call her and explain everything, but that I was too shocked to explain anything at the moment.
“Il7imdila 3ala il salama! Wain kintay? Il Gumar!?” My father teased, angrily.“Yuba, kint tabi tkalimni?”“Ee kint bagool lich ukhooch raad min il sifar ilyoum, fa abeekum kilikum itgoomoon itizahibon 3alashan kilina ibni6la3 3al 3asha ma3a ba3ath”SSSHHIIITTT!! My brother was coming home from University! Holy crap, his car!“Inshallah yuba, 3ala amrik. Al7een agoom abadil.”I ran as fast as I could up the stairs, passing the countless portraits of the family that hang abstractly across the corridor’s walls. I slammed the door behind me and jumped onto my bed. Tears rushed down my eyes. What was I to do?I took out my phone, and called the driver.“Joseph, if anyone asks you, Jassim’s Porsche is in the garage, it’s being serviced. Okay?”“Yes okay madam” he said, confused.“Thank you.” I ended the call, and took out the piece of paper with M7amad’s number on it. I dialed.
“Aloo?”I was silent.. breathing heavily.“….Raghad?”OhMyGod. Shdaraah!?“Shlonich Raghad?”I remained silent. I started hyperventilating! And then.. the tears came back down!“Atmana kilma wa7da minich.. kilma walaw jabr kha6ir?” He laughed.“M7amad” I said.I could hear him smile. You know it when a person’s smiling on the phone! I’m sure you all know it.“Amray 6iweelt il 3umur” Silence again.“Tabeeni awadeelich ilsayara al7een? Goleeli.. Layridich ila ilsanich.”“Lo sama7t” I said.“Khala9 wela yhimich. Ana makhith’ha a9lan… Mishaitay oo khalaiteeha… Fa gilt a9ali7ha. Bachir tkoon 3indich.”“Mashkoor.. Wayid!” I cried…“La ya Raghad. Intay ili mashkoora.. wayid.”I was… happy.

Just when I thought things were going great... -Call waiting, Daddy.-
Oh boy.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Sincere Apologies... Part 2

I stepped out of the vehicle. Slowly. Shocked. DAD IS GOING TO KILL ME. My brother! What’s my brother going to say?!
I didn’t even pay attention to what was happening around me, apparently people ran to us, and surrounded us! The car was totaled and the person I crashed into was STILL in their car. It was a black Cayenne im3atima totally. Around 5 minutes after the freak incident, the guy stepped out of his car. His nose was bleeding as he looked straight into my eyes. He was… the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. Not a word, nothing. Seemed as though there were tears in his eyes, and I could tell he was in great pain; not only did I create a HUGE dent in his car, but I also hurt the guy! How would I ever forgive myself?
We kept looking at each other, staring, if you will. His right eye twitched, painfully, but he never took his eyes off of me. Was that a smile curling the side of his lips? Is he serious!? Seriously? I didn’t smile back, for I was still in post-traumatic shock! People kept talking to me, asking me if I was alright I assume, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I was so drawn into this boy’s eyes that everything surrounding me was gibberish. He took a step towards me. I stood still, statue like. He took another step. I was frozen. He approached me, smiling. With a sudden swift movement he put out his hand, as if to shake mine, and I was in awe. What the hell is going on here!?
“M7amad” he said. His voice, it was deep. It gave me butterflies, those of which I had only had as a child. It was a deep voice, a comforting voice, and darn sexy. It crept through my spine, causing shivers. I wasn’t afraid, I just couldn’t be.
“Raghad” I responded with a hoarse and jittery voice. My hand made its way deep within his, and there was barely a shake. His hands grew tight around mine, as if never wanting to let go. God knows I never wanted to let go.
Time froze, and we found ourselves holding each other’s extended hands for longer than intended. I loosened my grip, and I could see a shy smile of embarrassment from his behalf.
“3asa ma ta3awartay?” I shook my head frantically. I wanted to hold his hand again! Aah!“Latkhafeen 3ala sayartich, ilta9lee7 3alay. Ana il ghal6an.”I shook my head again, I wanted to speak I just.. couldn’t! My vocal cords were all twisted up and I wanted to say I was sorry! I really did!“Hatha raqmi” he said as he extended his hand to grab a pen from a neighboring man. “Kalmeeni wana ayi akhith il sayara wawadeeha. Lat7ateen, 7a9al khair. Witha i7tijtay ayshay tara ana ta7at amrich, oo asif, adri ana il ghal6an. Ma kan qa9di a6la3lich chithi faj’a.”Not only was he super hot, but he was kind! And respectful! And generous!My phone rang. It was in the car. I knew I had to go and answer it, but... He was right there, standing before me! I couldn’t take him out of my sight! “Awa9lich baitkum?”YES YES YES YES! Everything inside of me said yes! But…
“La mashkoor” I trembeled.I walked away. I grabbed my phone, my bag, and left my brother’s car. I just walked away from it.“3alooy, ta3alay il’6a7ya al7een.”

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sincere Apologies.. Part 1

I was very nervous peering out the car window, waiting, hoping, to finally see him again. My face was as blank and as expressionless as it could ever be. I’d spent the past 45 minutes sitting here impatiently, eager to once again see the love of my life – the only person to have ever dwelled in my heart.

Though some might consider me some-what of stalker, I pray you understand my position before judging me. After all, false accusations on my behalf are what had gotten me here in the first place.

Sure, I’m what you may consider a rich girl… But I am most definitely not happy. Money, as you must have all heard a million times before, could not buy you happiness. Feel sorry for me? I beg you not to…Not just yet at least. I know perfectly well that you haven’t a thing in the world to feel sorry for me about. Not now, not until you know my story. Pathetic? Perhaps I may seem to be at this point… Lifeless I am, and lifeless I’ll be, until my true love returns, safely, back to me.
Care to hear about my story? Well, I’m about to tell it anyways.
I got into my brother’s Porsche one morning (yes, I was underage and hadn’t owned a car yet) and I made my way to 3a9eer il tha7ya. Pfft, don’t judge me, you know you all go there at some point in life. I parked the car, as close as I could without actually having hit the sidewalk, and I waited impatiently (as I always do) for the man to come take my order.
Just as lowered the car’s window my phone rang.
“Wainich?” (My father) Uh-oh.“Kani”“Shinu Kani! Wainich!?”“Emm, Madrissaa!”“Il sayig iygool ma dawamtay”“La yuba, ri7t ma3a 3alia, ihi maratni”“Cham mara gayilich ma tirkibeen ma3a il nas!”“Inshala ma tin3ad”“Riday il bait yala, na6rich ana bakalmich ib mawthoo3.”“3al amrik”-Click-Awkward silence as the clerk from 3a9eer il tha7ya and I stared at each other.I put up the window, without a word, and put the car in R and drove backwards as fast as humanly possible.
Guess what happened next? I beseech you, please do guess!